Spider Drama and the Critical Essay

Why do the spiders seek me out? Why? Why?

I was settling down to begin work on writing (well, reading and prewriting for) my first critical essay in 12+ years (part of an MFA application, due March 1) and I had a sudden urge to check that I'd locked the front door and there was a large spider climbing the wall in the front hallway. He looked a little big (and especially agile) to try catching in a cup, and he was right near the front door, so I thought I'd just try to get him to climb on the end of the broom and then I could transport him right out into the hallway. I'm not sure I succeeded, however. He deftly avoided my first few attempts to load him onto the broom, and then I *think* I got him successfully out into the hallway, but then I lost track of him. So he may still be lurking in my entranceway (ugh, what if he gets inside my SHOES??) or he may be hiding in the brush of the broom (I can't make myself look too closely in there to check), or he may be hanging out in the hallway or crawling into someone else's apartment. Or, I suppose, back into mine. I guess this is why people kill them instead of just evicting them. But I can't bring myself to do that.

And of course now I can't remember if I locked the door again after evicting (or not) the spider with the broom. So I have to go back over there and check. It's not like I can be afraid of my front hallway forever, anyway. But right now I'm still in that post-spider-sighting stage of feeling like things are crawling on me.

(Checked the door; I *hadn't* locked it. Although it had been locked the first time when I originally went over to check before the whole spider drama.)

Maybe it's time for more exposure therapy. Ugh.

Anyway. I suppose I'll try to get myself back to a place where I can concentrate enough to do some close reading. Wish me luck; it's been a long time since I wrote an English paper. Hopefully it's like riding a bike. Fingers crossed. I just wish I didn't have the extra obstacle of now being on spider alert.

Book signing in Essex, Vermont

I'll be signing books as part of the Kindling Words caravan tomorrow, January 24, 2008, 4 to 5pm, at Phoenix Books & Cafe in Essex, Vermont:

Phoenix Books and Cafe
21 Essex Way, #407
Essex, VT 05452
(802) 872-7111
http://www.phoenixbooks.biz/

I'll be one of more than 20 children's book authors and illustrators gathering at the store. If you'll be in the area, please stop by!

For the Cat People

My friend Peter sent me this today. It's awesome:

http://www.thefunnystuff.net/viewmovie.php?ad_key=MYQFWBUSMQKD&tracking_id=890373&id=614%5C

You may enjoy it even if you aren't a cat person, but it's especially good for those of us who have been there.

While we're on the subject of funny cat things on the web, if you aren't already a fan of LOLcats, please go here:

http://icanhascheezburger.com/

(Warning: the LOLcat site can suck you in for hours. Maybe days. Seriously. Visit with caution.)

MySpace and MySpiders

I've succumbed. I now have a MySpace page. You can find it here. Yay one more online collective! It's so weird to think that there was a time, not so very long ago, when the internet wasn't such a huge part of our lives. Craziness!

Spider update: Two more little guys who I have allowed to stay, for now. One is JUST small enough to not freak me out. The other was so tiny I couldn't evict him if I tried. Seriously, he's like the size of a pinhead. Maybe smaller. He was running around on the Chinese food menu when I picked it up a little while ago to place a delicious order (egg roll, shrimp with cashews, dry sauteed string beans, brown rice. Yes, I know it's a lot of food, but then I'll have lots of leftovers and won't have to think about making anything tomorrow, either.) Anyway, I will reflect the updated spider count in the SPLOG. (SPLOG! SPLOG!)

If anyone out there is actually reading this... how about a little poll. What's your favorite take-out order? Not just the kind (Chinese, Italian, etc.) but what specifically do you most like to get? Inquiring minds want to know.

Oh - I should point out -- because I'm sure you care! ;) -- that the above order isn't actually my current favorite. That was actually me mixing it up a little. My very favorite Chinese food take-out order includes chicken chow fun with no vegetables other than snow peas and the House Special fried rice. And every once in a while I let myself get General Tso's chicken, even though it is very bad for me, because it is just so delicious. Shrimp with cashews was one of my favorites growing up, though. Mmmmmm, Chinese food! I can't wait until the delivery guy gets here!!

SPLOG!

I am not a fan of spiders. Because of this, inevitably, they are drawn to me and I have more spider encounters than anyone else I know. I've decided to keep a log this year of how many spiders invade my apartment. FYI, if they are below a certain size, sometimes I let them stay, because I feel it's good for me to become a little desensitized. The big suckers, however, have to go. I don't like to kill them, so what generally happens is I trap them in dixie cups and dump them out the window. Technically, that gives them a fighting chance. They kind of float, you know, and I'm certain they always find something to stick their sticky web trails to somewhere on the way down. I can't say for sure they can survive the cold... but hey, I'm not running a spider boarding house here. Unless they're going to start paying rent, out they go.

One time it was very windy and I was afraid the spider would get blown back on me if I tried to throw him out the window (which would be entirely UNACCEPTABLE) and so that one I evicted into the hallway. But then I kept getting nervous that he'd just crawl right back to my door. So really the window is the better option.

Anyway, I will keep a running count of the spider situation in the right-hand column of this blog. I will call it SPLOG, which is short for spider log, only much more fun to say. SPLOG! SPLOG! SPLOG! (Seriously, try it and see.)

Hello, 2008

Here's hoping the new year brings good things to everyone, all around.

Reading/Signing tomorrow, December 8!

Just a quick reminder that I'll be reading and signing Library Lion tomorrow, December 8, at the Clinton Book Shop in Clinton, New Jersey.

Clinton Book Shop
33 Main Street
Clinton, NJ 08809
Tel: 908-735-8811

I hope you can come!