Guest Post at What Was on Her ...

Come visit me today over at Sandra Nickel's What Was on Her ... blog, where I talk about my most evil plan, karaoke favorites, and other fun things. Also, information you need to know about appropriate numbers of spiders.

There Can Be Only One

At least, that's what I'm trying to believe with regard to the super-creepy spider that was in my bathroom this morning. He looked like he'd escaped from a National Geographic special: big, black, jumpy, fast, and possibly furry, although I certainly didn't touch him to find out. He almost got away, too, which would have been terrible...knowing he was in there, somewhere, but not knowing exactly where or when he'd pop out at me again...ugh.

A friend recently suggested that maybe the universe is trying to tell me something with all the spider encounters. And I thought, well, yeah, the universe is trying to tell me that it is vast and full of spiders. But I've been trying to think of other, more positive, possible meanings. For example, each time I face down one of these eight-legged beasties, I can't help but think about how far I've come in the spider-managing department. There was a time when I would have been paralyzed with fear, unable to even imagine doing the Dixie Cup catch-and-release thing. And so each time I handle a spider in my current still-phobic-but-much-better-able-to-deal state, I try to feel good about it. It's useful to remember that you really can change and improve, and that things that are hard now will not always be hard, and that lots of obstacles that seem insurmountable are actually things you might be able to get past at some point. Okay, maybe I'm getting a little carried away with the extrapolating, but hey, ya gotta take inspiration where you can find it, right? And if I can find something inspirational about spiders, by golly, that's pretty amazing. Well, to me, anyway. :)

ANYWAY. I really never intended for this to become such a spider-centric blog. Sadly, there just happens to be more spider activity than writing activity going on right at this moment. I do have some nice book-related news, though: Library Lion was nominated for the 2009 Colorado Children's Book Award! I just received a nice certificate in the mail. You can see the full list of nominees here.

In other news, I'll be visiting students at P.S. 33 in Manhattan this Wednesday. Can't wait!

Hope you're all managing to stay cool somehow. This heat is awful. I'm not a big fan of the summer in general, but this is crazy. CRAZY! Why can't it just stay in the 70s? Would that be so much to ask?

Spider Drama and the Critical Essay

Why do the spiders seek me out? Why? Why?

I was settling down to begin work on writing (well, reading and prewriting for) my first critical essay in 12+ years (part of an MFA application, due March 1) and I had a sudden urge to check that I'd locked the front door and there was a large spider climbing the wall in the front hallway. He looked a little big (and especially agile) to try catching in a cup, and he was right near the front door, so I thought I'd just try to get him to climb on the end of the broom and then I could transport him right out into the hallway. I'm not sure I succeeded, however. He deftly avoided my first few attempts to load him onto the broom, and then I *think* I got him successfully out into the hallway, but then I lost track of him. So he may still be lurking in my entranceway (ugh, what if he gets inside my SHOES??) or he may be hiding in the brush of the broom (I can't make myself look too closely in there to check), or he may be hanging out in the hallway or crawling into someone else's apartment. Or, I suppose, back into mine. I guess this is why people kill them instead of just evicting them. But I can't bring myself to do that.

And of course now I can't remember if I locked the door again after evicting (or not) the spider with the broom. So I have to go back over there and check. It's not like I can be afraid of my front hallway forever, anyway. But right now I'm still in that post-spider-sighting stage of feeling like things are crawling on me.

(Checked the door; I *hadn't* locked it. Although it had been locked the first time when I originally went over to check before the whole spider drama.)

Maybe it's time for more exposure therapy. Ugh.

Anyway. I suppose I'll try to get myself back to a place where I can concentrate enough to do some close reading. Wish me luck; it's been a long time since I wrote an English paper. Hopefully it's like riding a bike. Fingers crossed. I just wish I didn't have the extra obstacle of now being on spider alert.

MySpace and MySpiders

I've succumbed. I now have a MySpace page. You can find it here. Yay one more online collective! It's so weird to think that there was a time, not so very long ago, when the internet wasn't such a huge part of our lives. Craziness!

Spider update: Two more little guys who I have allowed to stay, for now. One is JUST small enough to not freak me out. The other was so tiny I couldn't evict him if I tried. Seriously, he's like the size of a pinhead. Maybe smaller. He was running around on the Chinese food menu when I picked it up a little while ago to place a delicious order (egg roll, shrimp with cashews, dry sauteed string beans, brown rice. Yes, I know it's a lot of food, but then I'll have lots of leftovers and won't have to think about making anything tomorrow, either.) Anyway, I will reflect the updated spider count in the SPLOG. (SPLOG! SPLOG!)

If anyone out there is actually reading this... how about a little poll. What's your favorite take-out order? Not just the kind (Chinese, Italian, etc.) but what specifically do you most like to get? Inquiring minds want to know.

Oh - I should point out -- because I'm sure you care! ;) -- that the above order isn't actually my current favorite. That was actually me mixing it up a little. My very favorite Chinese food take-out order includes chicken chow fun with no vegetables other than snow peas and the House Special fried rice. And every once in a while I let myself get General Tso's chicken, even though it is very bad for me, because it is just so delicious. Shrimp with cashews was one of my favorites growing up, though. Mmmmmm, Chinese food! I can't wait until the delivery guy gets here!!

SPLOG!

I am not a fan of spiders. Because of this, inevitably, they are drawn to me and I have more spider encounters than anyone else I know. I've decided to keep a log this year of how many spiders invade my apartment. FYI, if they are below a certain size, sometimes I let them stay, because I feel it's good for me to become a little desensitized. The big suckers, however, have to go. I don't like to kill them, so what generally happens is I trap them in dixie cups and dump them out the window. Technically, that gives them a fighting chance. They kind of float, you know, and I'm certain they always find something to stick their sticky web trails to somewhere on the way down. I can't say for sure they can survive the cold... but hey, I'm not running a spider boarding house here. Unless they're going to start paying rent, out they go.

One time it was very windy and I was afraid the spider would get blown back on me if I tried to throw him out the window (which would be entirely UNACCEPTABLE) and so that one I evicted into the hallway. But then I kept getting nervous that he'd just crawl right back to my door. So really the window is the better option.

Anyway, I will keep a running count of the spider situation in the right-hand column of this blog. I will call it SPLOG, which is short for spider log, only much more fun to say. SPLOG! SPLOG! SPLOG! (Seriously, try it and see.)